Tammy at AutismLearningFelt has an Autism Mom's Thursday today in which the topic is Thanksgiving with autism, & how that day may differ from those who do not have autistic children.
I decided to contribute, because our Thanksgiving would probably be considered different from most.
When I was growing up Thanksgiving meant decorations, a nicely set table, company, & special foods. These things always seemed to be very important, particularly the food.
I tried that for a while in the early days with my kiddos but have finally given up (thankfully).
I do not decorate in general, never mind special holiday decorations. The kiddos tend to grab things, & anything put out that isn't normally out, like a special occasion decoration, is very subject to grabby hands.
For years I tried to control that, & continually rearranged & replaced the decorations, but as of the past few years I stopped decorating at all. That has alleviated a lot of stress.
I still might try to do a special craft (if they're easy) with some of the kiddos, & hang them off the refrigerator or a door or something. They, too, have been grabbed, but at least they're not usually breakable. They might end up torn somehow, but usually survive rather well. :-)
I do not set tables. That doesn't mean a fancy holiday table, but tables in general. On a daily basis, one of the children puts out a few placemats, napkins, & utencils for each meal, avoiding Little Bear's spot as he will grab the setting & it will end up on the floor. Each plate is filled & then brought to the person at the table, so I do not set food on the table in servers.
Since I can't do that on a regular basis, holiday table setting is completely out. That typically means many more breakables, & just can't be done here. We also don't go to anyone else's home for holidays anymore because they do set nice tables & have regular foods, which brings me to the next difference between our Thanksgiving & a "normal" one: food.
Our food is very simple. My oldest has been gluten & dairy free for almost eight years, & aside from an occasional infraction continues to be on a special diet. Butterfly does not tolerate dairy, does better off gluten, & is highly allergic to tree nuts. My Little Bear is a story unto himself in that he hardly tolerates any foods. His severe eczema as a baby was controlled by some very strict food eliminations. He eats in an "SCD" sort of way; for a while it was strict but now it's somewhat modified. Unfortunately, he's still not able to tolerate many foods.
Everywhere we go we typically bring food. To go to someone else's home & pack foods is not necessarily convenient, but we've done it in past. A few years ago we gave up that too, for the most part, as the boys tend to grab food also, not understanding that certain foods are not good for them. At holiday meals most people walk around with food, leave it places, & drop crumbs.
Folks also tend to leave drinking cups around with liquids in them, which my boys will take & either spill or drink themselves.
The past few years we've spent Thanksgiving alone as a family, which has taken a lot of stress off me. I still try to make a dish or two everyone can eat that is a bit different from our typically very plain foods. Since there are picky eaters here as well that is usually done more for hubs & one or two of the other kiddos. My severe boys are happy with the turkey, although Little Bear doesn't seem to like any poultry anymore, so this year I'll probably have to plan to have something else for him or a leftover available.
So our Thanksgivings are pretty much like any other day, but maybe with a different vegetable dish or dessert available. I find that everyday with autism there is enough to be concerned about, rather then wasting much needed energy fussing & stressing over one particular day that will be over quickly anyway.
The day isn't bad, & is somewhat relaxed as there's no homeschool, just the usual tasks that always need doing, & hubs has off work. The past few years we've also always had someone fall ill on Thanksgiving, so my prayer this year is really that everyone just stay healthy.
I also try to keep the kiddos focused on the fact that the reason this day is a big fuss is not for all the reasons most make it to be. Rather, it's because a group of brave believers wanted to settle somewhere they could worship their God, who is also my God, in freedom & safety. It's horrifically ironic & sad that right here, where believers came for freedom to worship & serve Him, persecution for doing just that is becoming more & more prevalent.
It's also odd that those who don't even care about Him or that freedom continue to celebrate this day (as well as others)... but in remembrance of what?
Those early settlers & believers were very thankful to Him for providing freedom for them. I am too. But my prayers also include that this freedom be remembered & continued.
That's good enough for me. :-)
I decided to contribute, because our Thanksgiving would probably be considered different from most.
When I was growing up Thanksgiving meant decorations, a nicely set table, company, & special foods. These things always seemed to be very important, particularly the food.
I tried that for a while in the early days with my kiddos but have finally given up (thankfully).
I do not decorate in general, never mind special holiday decorations. The kiddos tend to grab things, & anything put out that isn't normally out, like a special occasion decoration, is very subject to grabby hands.
For years I tried to control that, & continually rearranged & replaced the decorations, but as of the past few years I stopped decorating at all. That has alleviated a lot of stress.
I still might try to do a special craft (if they're easy) with some of the kiddos, & hang them off the refrigerator or a door or something. They, too, have been grabbed, but at least they're not usually breakable. They might end up torn somehow, but usually survive rather well. :-)
I do not set tables. That doesn't mean a fancy holiday table, but tables in general. On a daily basis, one of the children puts out a few placemats, napkins, & utencils for each meal, avoiding Little Bear's spot as he will grab the setting & it will end up on the floor. Each plate is filled & then brought to the person at the table, so I do not set food on the table in servers.
Since I can't do that on a regular basis, holiday table setting is completely out. That typically means many more breakables, & just can't be done here. We also don't go to anyone else's home for holidays anymore because they do set nice tables & have regular foods, which brings me to the next difference between our Thanksgiving & a "normal" one: food.
Our food is very simple. My oldest has been gluten & dairy free for almost eight years, & aside from an occasional infraction continues to be on a special diet. Butterfly does not tolerate dairy, does better off gluten, & is highly allergic to tree nuts. My Little Bear is a story unto himself in that he hardly tolerates any foods. His severe eczema as a baby was controlled by some very strict food eliminations. He eats in an "SCD" sort of way; for a while it was strict but now it's somewhat modified. Unfortunately, he's still not able to tolerate many foods.
Everywhere we go we typically bring food. To go to someone else's home & pack foods is not necessarily convenient, but we've done it in past. A few years ago we gave up that too, for the most part, as the boys tend to grab food also, not understanding that certain foods are not good for them. At holiday meals most people walk around with food, leave it places, & drop crumbs.
Folks also tend to leave drinking cups around with liquids in them, which my boys will take & either spill or drink themselves.
The past few years we've spent Thanksgiving alone as a family, which has taken a lot of stress off me. I still try to make a dish or two everyone can eat that is a bit different from our typically very plain foods. Since there are picky eaters here as well that is usually done more for hubs & one or two of the other kiddos. My severe boys are happy with the turkey, although Little Bear doesn't seem to like any poultry anymore, so this year I'll probably have to plan to have something else for him or a leftover available.
So our Thanksgivings are pretty much like any other day, but maybe with a different vegetable dish or dessert available. I find that everyday with autism there is enough to be concerned about, rather then wasting much needed energy fussing & stressing over one particular day that will be over quickly anyway.
The day isn't bad, & is somewhat relaxed as there's no homeschool, just the usual tasks that always need doing, & hubs has off work. The past few years we've also always had someone fall ill on Thanksgiving, so my prayer this year is really that everyone just stay healthy.
I also try to keep the kiddos focused on the fact that the reason this day is a big fuss is not for all the reasons most make it to be. Rather, it's because a group of brave believers wanted to settle somewhere they could worship their God, who is also my God, in freedom & safety. It's horrifically ironic & sad that right here, where believers came for freedom to worship & serve Him, persecution for doing just that is becoming more & more prevalent.
It's also odd that those who don't even care about Him or that freedom continue to celebrate this day (as well as others)... but in remembrance of what?
Those early settlers & believers were very thankful to Him for providing freedom for them. I am too. But my prayers also include that this freedom be remembered & continued.
That's good enough for me. :-)
